Just a rambling....Last night was the Ladies Renewal Silent Auction and Christmas dinner party. I had a really great time and actually did not get so nervous having to speak about Kids Korner this time. I took notes to read from lol but minutes before stepping up I just prayed a quick prayer for His words...
Kids Korner has really been a challenge for me this semester, and I finally felt the "sacrifice" to serve. I have been so bent on not getting involved with ladies stuff that I had no desire to. A little nudging from a great friend and sister in Christ and I took the plunge. I loved my class so much that I wanted to be there, just absorbing His word, and not pulling my hair out trying to get volunteers. I became so angry and obsessed looking at everyone else that I lost some of my joy. The prayers went unheard b/c I just was so focused on it being about me but when I SHUT UP and finally listened, I have more peace.
The lack of volunteering is not about ME, STOP trying to focus so much on how I feel and what I think people should be doing...God is the only one who can make someone MOVE and He will get them there without ME!! Use the talents He has given me and focus on what I have the power to do, MOVE BRANDI...
I have decided instead of saying I am taking another trip around the mountain, I am going to just say that I am getting a deeper meaning than I got the first time lol....SOUNDS better that way any how hahaha....Not really, I am just truly thankful that even when I am not faithful, HE IS...He amazes me more and more everyday....How GREAT it is to be BROKEN...When I am broken, He can move....I never thought broken was a good place to be but for me that is where I feel Him the most...That is when I know something BIG is about to take place...Maybe not big to anyone else but BIG in my life...I love that song that says, "BROKENNESS IS WHAT I LONG FOR BROKENNESS IS WHAT I NEED...BROKENNESS IS WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME...TAKE MY HEART AND FORM IT, TAKE MY MIND TRANSFORM IT, TAKE MY WILL CONFORM IT ...TO YOURS TO YOURS, OH LORD..."
Little did I know the blessings that God had ready for me...Little did I know what His LOVE really would transform and change my desires to be....I don't deserve all that has been given and I just pray that I STOP taking so many of them for granted...That I use the gifts and STOP whining about them...HE IS SUFFICIENT if I can just get over ME!! I am surrounded by so many Godly women and I know He has placed them there for growing purposes. Stop focusing on the people and realize this is a spiritual battle and not a battle against flesh. Learning to LOVE without the condition is what I pray for. That my LOVE truly reflect what He has given to me...To seek out christian relationships because we all need a good friend when we need encouraging and one we can encourage...Life is the growing ground and to focus on what I am planting...To root out all the deceptions that this world has planted into my mind...Lastly, and probably most important to me, Conform my Will to His...That is probably the doozie one for me b/c letting go of that last bit of "control" seems so hard....but I know it is freeing...To live FREE...Freedom is in the changing of the rein, my hand to His...Everyday this is the battle but I know it will get easier every time I release them....I am so thankful my God is so much bigger than the box I sometimes place Him in...
Just the randomness of me...it is after midnight so I better go sleep while the sleeping is good :)...Much luv......
1 comment:
Peace, oh the peace. Spot on! That's the most frequent comment I get from people who knew me "before". They say that they can't believe the peace they see in me. They can't believe "that I hide the stress" so well. I wish that I could help them to better understand that this is no act. When we give it all to Him, peace shines; no acting involved. Awesome post!!
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